Saturday, 20 August 2011

E is for Eggnog


Eggnog: chocolate box hamlet to the west of Vince Hill – home of Magenta Hayes and Patsy Pottle (UA, S)

The Elderly Vet : ( EV ) Fred Marpleston

Equestrian phrases or sayings : Bunty Pargeter's many years at the helm of Vaysey Pastures mean she has seen most things that go on in the equestrian world. Here are are her suggestions for alternative horsey slants on a few well-known phrases or sayings:

Hell hath no fury like…..…
....a Pony Clubber who finishes out of the rosettes again...or her mother
….the owner of an expensive imported dressage Hanoverian beaten into second place by your homely cob
...a fellow livery who aspires to your horse's paddock

It’s not where you start….…
.....it’s whether you can even get selected for the club team
…..it’s whether the judge likes anything but fine-boned thoroughbreds
…..it’s whether half the competitors should properly be in the open section

Thou shall not covet thy…..…
......fellow liveries’ husband or boyfriend
…...instructor’s warm-blood…or thy instructor
…...fellow liveries’ allocated stable, paddock, place in the tack room, parking space - everything really.

It’s not the winning that counts……
......it’s making the other competitors lose
…...it’s the photo in the magazine and huge rozzy, proving it
…...well...to be honest, it does count…rather a lot, actually…

Slow but sure……
.....usually only wins if you bribe the time keeper
…..usually makes for a dull jump-off
…..possibly isn’t a good idea when you’re going last against the clock

Always count your….…
......hoof picks, brushes and other stuff if you leave your grooming kit out on the yard
…...marks and check your score is added up correctly if you don’t want to miss out on that rosette
…...blessings …but prize money is preferable and rosettes look much nicer in the lorry

She who laughs last……
......is probably related to the judge or on the committee
…...has usually got loads of money
…...still enters the restricted section


The other liveries’ …..…
......winter turn-out is always longer than yours
…...field is always more conveniently located, shadier, flatter and less muddy than yours
…....treatment on the yard is always better than yours ...and if she’s got it I want it….and it’s all so unfair!



No comments: